


A Drink with Underhill

by TintedMirrors



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec makes a new friend, Angst, M/M, Underhill/Alec friendship, immortality issues, post 3x05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-24 23:59:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14366538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TintedMirrors/pseuds/TintedMirrors
Summary: Alec is avoiding Magnus, so when Underhill asks him out for a drink, he says yes. He doesn't expect his chief of security to make him see sense in his relationship with Magnus.(No Underhill/Alec romance. Just buddies!)





	A Drink with Underhill

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know, I just love Underhill. I think he's awesome and totally gorgeous! And I want to see an Underhill/Alec friendship so badly.

Alec is tired. He can’t seem to shut his mind off and all he can think about is Magnus’s box of mementos of past lovers. He understands it, but it still doesn’t sit right with him. He loves Magnus beyond words, but seeing that box is a harsh reminder that Alec is just another one of the many partners his boyfriend has had in his life. It hurts.

So he doesn’t go to Magnus’s loft that night. Magnus calls him, but he lets it ring out, instead choosing to focus on his paperwork. The institute is quiet at eleven at night and it gives Alec time to think.

A knock on the door startles him and he glances toward it, at Underhill who’s standing at the threshold, a small smile on his lips.

“Sir.”

“Underhill,” Alec greets. He hasn’t talked to Underhill since the other Shadowhunter thanked him for coming out earlier that day. It was weird for Alec to hear someone thanking him for something he did for himself, but he appreciates it anyway. Underhill is a good man, and an even better soldier.

“Can I come in?”

Alec nods his permission and Underhill moves further into the room.

“Is there a problem?” Alec asks.

“No, sir. I thought I’d come to see how you were.” His words are quiet, with genuine concern laced in his tone.

“See how I am?”

“You looked troubled earlier tonight.” Underhill stands tall, with his hands clutched behind his back. It’s the way they’ve been taught to stand since they were children.

Alec stares at him for a moment. Underhill is the first one to notice it. Jace had asked him if he was okay earlier, but they’d talked about his own problem instead.

His silence persuades Underhill to continue. “I thought you might need someone to talk to?”

“I’m fine, Underhill.” He nods. “Thank you for your concern.”

But as Alec focuses on his paperwork again, he notices the other Shadowhunter doesn’t leave.

“Sir, would you like to go out for a drink?”

The words startle Alec and he glances up, ready to refuse immediately, but he pauses when he looks at Underhill’s face. The man in front of him stares at him with admiration that Alec’s never seen before, not aimed at him anyway, and he nods before he can stop himself.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s go.” Alec grabs his jacket and slips it on. He decides that a drink will keep his mind off Magnus and their problems.

Underhill nods, smiles, and leads Alec out of the institute.

They end up at some Mundane bar, away from Downworlders and other Shadowhunters, which Alec is thankful for. He doesn’t want to run into someone that may know him or Magnus. He’s running from his problems, after all.

Underhill leads him to the bar, orders a jug of beer, and they head to a corner booth. The room is lively, with a mixture of women and men dancing their night away, or laughing over alcoholic drinks. It’s fun and Alec can’t keep his eyes away from the patrons. Mundanes have never interested him before, but his world has been opened since Clary and Simon entered their lives.

His phone vibrates on the table and he glances at it. It’s Magnus again and without a second thought, he hits ignore.

That catches Underhill’s attention though. “Is everything okay with you and Mr. Bane, Sir?”

“Alec. My name is Alec outside of work.” Alec smiles, but ignores the question. He doesn’t want to talk about Magnus. Not tonight.

“I’m Michael.”

Alec realizes that he didn’t actually know Underhill’s given name, and he feels like a terrible leader. He’s always made it his mission to know who works beneath him, but with so much happening over the last few weeks, he never took the time to know more about his new chief of security.

“I had a boyfriend, a couple of years ago.” Underhill-- _Michael_ \-- cups his glass of beer and stares at it. “He was a Shadowhunter too. We kept our relationship quiet, we had to back then. But after a while, the secret started to put a strain on our relationship. At first, it was just a little argument, but each day it got worse. It got to a point where we couldn’t bear looking at each other without saying something we ended up regretting.”

Alec listens. It’s all he can do. It’s all he wants to do, because hearing that someone else is going through similar problems comforts him, which in turn makes him feel like a horrible person. But right now, he feels alone, with his world small and his problems endless.

“It got to a point where we couldn’t handle it anymore. We went our separate ways.” Michael glances at him, lips pursed. “I didn’t think I’d ever be able to come out, be the real me. And then your wedding happened. You and Mr. Bane happened, and it changed my life. It changed a lot of Shadowhunters’s lives, Alec.”

Alec exhales. He’s not sure what to say. He’s uncomfortable with compliments, because he’s not used to hearing them, not until Magnus came along. So he smiles and takes a sip of his beer. It’s horrible Mundane alcohol, he manages to swallow it without gagging.

Michael doesn’t seem to take the hint. “Magnus Bane seems like a good guy.”

Alec sighs. He runs his thumb around the rim of his glass and thinks about Magnus. His smile, his laughter, and his cheesy pick-up lines. It makes him snort in amusement. “He is an amazing man.”

The other Shadowhunter chuckles. “You’re captivated by him.”

“It’s hard not to be.” Alec chews on his bottom lip. “He’s… _Magnus Bane_.”

“And you’re Alec Lightwood.” Michael stares at him intently, but it’s not an uncomfortable stare, even if it was still an admiring look.

Alec snorts. “You say that as though it means something beside Magnus’s name.”

“It does. You’re the head of the New York institute. A legendary Shadowhunter who helped bring down Valentine.”

He waves the words away, because he didn’t do anything, not like Jace and Clary did. But he appreciates the compliment anyway.

Michael refills his glass of beer with the jug. “Is everything okay between you and Magnus?”

Alec notes the change from Mr. Bane, and smiles. He imagines that Magnus would like being called Mr. Bane, but Alec likes his given name much better. The question reminds him of their argument though, and the smile disappears. “Not really.”

Michael stays silent and Alec can feel his intense stare. He knows he doesn’t have to talk to his chief of security, but he finds that he wants to. No one else has asked him these questions, no one else has wanted to know how he feels. And he needs to get it off his chest.

“Magnus is immortal and I’m not.” The words sting. He thinks back to that beautiful box, filled with singular objects that belonged to random people who’d touched Magnus like he does. It’s more than jealousy, it’s fear of losing a man he loves. “And I can’t stand the thought of growing old, when he doesn’t.”

Michael blows out a puff of air. “I can’t imagine what that feels like.”

“It doesn’t feel great.” Alec chuckles, but it’s not in amusement, rather the absurdity that is his life. “I’m just another number to add on his list of many.”

“Is that what he said?”

“No, of course not.” Alec frowns at Michael.

“Then what makes you assume you’re just another number?”

“Seventeen thousand.” His stomach clenches as he says it.

“Seventeen thousand what?”

Alec purses his lips. It’s not his right to tell Michael this, so he just shakes his head. “Nothing. Forget I said it.”

“Alec, can I be blunt?” Michael leans closer, his elbows resting on the table between them.

Alec nods in answer.

“I don’t know Magnus. I’ve never said a word to him, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you. A man doesn’t look at you like that, unless he’s prepared to take on any challenge for you. I think if you asked for the world, Magnus Bane would give it to you.”

Alec snorts and squeezes the bridge of his nose. He can feel a stress headache coming on and he knows he should stop drinking, even though he’s only had one glass. He doesn’t though. “If only that was true. I asked him if I could move in today, his answer was no. He said he thinks we should take it slow.”

Michael’s gaze narrows thoughtfully. “You did kiss him at your wedding to woman in front of your parents who didn’t know you were gay.”

“Right?” Alec laughs. “That is anything but slow.”

Michael chuckles along with him and they quickly fell back against their seats, loud laughter erupting between them. It takes them a couple of minutes to gain composure and Alec wipes at the tears in his eyes. It’s been too long since he laughed like this.

“Alec, listen, I can’t pretend I know what it’s like to date an immortal warlock, but you obviously love him deeply, and he feels the same way for you.”

Alec notices the way his hand tightens around his glass.

“If you ask me, a lot of people would die for that kind of love. I had that and I lost it because I was afraid of the future. Don’t be afraid to live in the moment with Magnus.”

“I can’t stop thinking about growing old.” He shakes his head. “Or the countless people he’s been with before. The people he’s loved like he loves me.”

“Are they alive now?”

He presses his fingers into his forehead. “No.”

“Then why does it matter? They are his past and right now, you’re his present and future.”

“For how long? Until I die?”

Michael grabs his hand and squeezes. “That’s all the time most of us have. Now imagine being Magnus. Seeing your love one die again and again. You fall in love, only to lose them to age. Personally, I couldn’t handle that. I would have taken my life ages ago.”

Alec’s gaze shifts from Michael’s hand, to his face, and realizes it’s true. Magnus has had his heart broken numerous times, watched the people he cared about die from either old age or another cause. He couldn’t imagine watching Magnus die.

“But what if—”

Michael squeezes his hand harder than necessarily. “Stop thinking like a Shadowhunter with those what if’s. We’re soldiers, Alec, we’ve only ever had now, because tomorrow, we could be killed by a demon. Right now, you’re out drinking with me when you could be in bed with the man you love. Personally, I think you’re an idiot.”

Alec inhales sharply.

“Go home to your boyfriend, Sir.”

He doesn’t need telling twice. Alec smiles at Michael as he stands. He pats his shoulder in thanks, and stalks out of the bar. He grabs a taxi and heads to Magnus’s loft, which costs him a fortune in Mundane money.

Once he reaches Magnus’s door, he hesitates before knocking.

The door opens immediately and Magnus appears on the other side, worry lines marring his otherwise perfect face.

“Alexander, there you are. I was worried sick. I called Izzy and—”

Alec crushes his mouth against Magnus’s, tasting the alcohol on his boyfriend’s lips. They kiss until they are breathless and Alec has to tug himself away.

“Where have you been?” Magnus asks, eyebrows furrowed.

“With Underhill. We had a drink.” Alec doesn’t want to lie, there’s no need to.

“The Shadowhunter who thanked you for coming out?”

Alec sees it then, the uncertainty in Magnus’s eyes as he shifts his gaze away from him. Alec cups his cheeks and stares into his eyes. “He made me realize what an idiot I am. I’m sorry.”

Magnus smiles gently, his thumb caressing Alec’s jaw. “Don’t be. We both said things we regret.”

“Let’s not fight. I can think of better things we can do.” Alec waggles his eyebrows. 

His warlock chuckles as his hands traces the length of Alec’s back until they rest on Alec’s ass. “Shall we take this to the bedroom?”

“Absolutely.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are awesome! ;)


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